Highlights from a Sleepover

I think sleepovers exist to either make you feel really good, or really bad about your children. We haven't really done any before, but tonight we have over two very sweet girls of our good friends--a swap since they watched our girls overnight a few months back. Their good behavior has only made my children look worse and shown me what an ineffectual parent I am. And instead of inspiring me to do better it just makes me want to give up. Highlights from this sleepover that have showed me how horrible of a mother I truly am include:

- Child A repeatedly telling me thank you for letting them come over and stay.
- Child A making sure we had a prayer over lunch
- Child B (who's 5) telling Child A "Remember, mom said to be cooperative!" When Child A didn't want to play something Avery wanted to play. Child A quickly gave in after the reminder.
- Child A saying thank you at least 5 times for us taking them to McDonald's for dinner.
- On the way home from McDonald's I tell everyone in the car that when we get home they have to put on their pajamas before we can watch a movie.
Child A: Don't we need to take showers?
Me: Nah.
Child A: But we always take showers before bed.
Me: Well tonight you don't have to.
Chad: Texas is in a drought, we're doing our part.
Child A: I really want to take a shower. I don't like to be all sweaty before bed.
Me: How hygenic of you. You can take a shower if you want.
Child A: Oh good!
Then I spent a few minutes trying to remember the last shower/bath my girls took since I've been counting the pool as one a lot the last week.
- 10 minutes later, through the bathroom door where Avery has taken her to show her where I am Child A asks: Do you have any body wash?
- Nope, sorry.
- What about a sponge?
- Nope, we don't have those either.
- Well, I'll just use whatever you use.
- We don't really use anything. (In defense of our unhygenic sounding habits, I've had girls with a lot of UTIs, itchy birthmarks, etc. and so we stay away from the whole soap in the bath thing)
- Well, how about a wash cloth?
- I do have one of those! I'll get it in a minute. (I then dig through the pile of towels under the sink for a wash cloth that was given to us as a wedding gift and never used).
- I overhear Child A trip over some toys upstairs and comment to Child B, "I need to get better at stepping over things."
- Child A comes into the room where Chad and I are putting to bed overly tired and cranky children having fits about not being tired and asks if we're all going to say a prayer together. Avery screams NOOO! She doesn't want to and isn't coming.
- Chad goes and says group prayer with Child A and B and Rylee. Child A blesses that everyone will be more helpful tomorrow. Apparently she witnessed the lack of cooperation whenever I asked Rylee and Avery to do something.
- Rylee comes crying into the room where I am finishing getting Avery and Izzy settled in bed crying about the back of her arm hurting where I had applied OTC wart remover that morning on some tiny white bumps that haven't gone away for months and which I finally presumed must be warts. I tell her I'll be with her in a minute thinking she is exaggerating.
- Upon finally inspecting Rylee's arm I discover that the medicine has burned sores all over her arm. Chad and I spend 10 minutes applying wet washcloths (who knew they could be so useful!) and ice to it.
- I ask Child B if she has gone to the bathroom repeatedly and she tells me she doesn't have to. Due to the large drink she consumed at McDonald's I am nervous and finally ask her point blank the last time she went pee. During the afternoon hide and seek game 6 hours ago. I tell her she needs to go potty before bed. She still says no. Finally I tell her it's our family rule to go pee before bed. That seemed to do the trick. You can tell that in her family they actually follow the family rules.
- 30 minutes after I get everyone in bed I hear the loudest crash imaginable from upstairs followed by crying. Child B has fallen out of the queen size bed she is sharing with Child A.

And now I am blogging because it is keeping me from my evening prayers in which I really need to ask forgiveness for being such a lacking mother. So now you know, we don't bathe everyday, own body wash (actually Chad does, but I didn't think it was right to wash a child with Irish Spring) or sponges, my children don't clean up their toys, are ungrateful, and we don't have regular family prayer or pray at lunch. And I accidentally burn my children with medicine.

And Child A and Child B will have a lot of fun stories to tell their parents about us when they go home tomorrow.